Change and Grief |

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Change and Grief

By Jillian Wheeler | May 11, 2009

For some reason, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about grief.

Some grief is acute, such as the devastating loss we feel during those first couple of years following the death of someone close to us, or after we’ve been abandoned by a spouse or lover. But life is also full of grief over smaller losses, and it is those that have been occupying my mind in recent days.

Our elderly dog, Mia, died a month ago, and we’ve all been sad about that. If you’re not a dog person, that grief may be hard to understand. But for fourteen years, Mia was a sunny presence in our lives, and we really miss her.

This past Sunday was Mothers Day. My parents have both been gone for a number of years, but on holidays such as these, I often find myself wishing I could call and talk with them.

This morning in the grocery store, I assisted an elderly couple in their eigthies. They were pushing their grocery cart together, when the wife suddenly began to fall. Several of us found a chair and as she sat down, she explained that this unsteadiness was happening a lot lately. They both seemed frightened and unsure, as they face a future that will surely be different than their past together.

When our lives change, we grieve. Every change, even those we desire, involves some loss. If we move to a new city, even as we are excited and looking forward to new challenges, we miss those friends we must leave behind.

Many people now are grieving the loss of their homes, or their jobs. Even though we know there will be another place to live, and one day we’ll own another house, giving up this house is hard. Even though we know eventually we’ll find another job, and we’ll make money again, getting wrenched away from what felt like a safe haven causes us grief.

Of course, part of grief is sadness. Another substantial aspect is anger. When life throws us a curve, we often feel betrayed and cheated. We get comfortable so easily, we forget that everything in life is subject to change.

And that is one of the bedrock truths of life: everything changes. Does this mean I think we are helpless? Not at all.

In fact, I believe we are the authors of our lives. I believe our thoughts, intentions and expectations create the circumstances of our lives. Sometimes we create consciously, and often we create unconsciously – but we are creating all the time. We create individually, and we co-create in tandem with the people around us.

So why is there grief?

There’s a lot we don’t understand. We do know that grief offers us opportunities to grow as human beings. And we know it is often true that circumstances we initially resist, eventually lead us into the next important phase of our lives.

We can deal with grief in one of two ways. We can kick and scream and resist all the way (I’ve been there!), or we can surrender and accept what is, and ride the river of life wherever the flow carries us. Surrender means releasing our need to be in control. It also involves forgiving ourselves, and forgiving everyone else as well.

The faster we can let go, the faster we are willing to forgive, the more quickly we can leave the pain behind and move into the new possibilities that await us.

My favorite part of the work I do is helping people create new opportunities, both in terms of their career and business lives, and in terms of serving their communities.

If your life has changed recently, or if you are looking for a new beginning for any reason, you may want to consider one of the following:

My Grants Training Classes begin next week. These classes provide you with everything you need to launch a new career as a Certified Grant Writer, to create a non-profit organization, to launch a community project and get it funded (and give yourself a great new job!). Learn more at:

www.GrantMeRich.com/classes.htm

My Internet Business Incubator 10-Week Personal Mentoring Program gives you the chance to work closely with me as you design and establish your own Internet business… in fact, your own Internet Cash Machine!

www.YourInternetCashMachine.com/mentor.htm

Visit these sites and check out the testimonials from former students. They are real people who have transformed their own circumstances by taking advantage of our programs.

Perhaps one of these opportunities will lead you into your own new possibilities.

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